What ‘Being a Good Wife’ Means to Me

Today I’ve decided to write a little post on my thoughts about ‘wifeing’. I am now a wife, I have been for nearly four months now.  ‘How’s married life?’ and ‘Have you got fed up with him yet?!’ with a wink and a nudge are questions that now come up often. When you get married, you’re relationship seems to change in the eyes of others. Yes, you have moved from ‘girlfriend’ to ‘wife’, but does that title and a legal document really make a difference? For us, no. We were already living together and behaving as if we were married, so there is no change at all really.

I am a wife, and I’m enjoying it! I’m getting used to it now. Wife is now part of my identity, but by no means does it define me. I think the term ‘good wife’ often comes with connotations of  baking apple pies and darning socks. Now, this may be you of course and there is nothing wrong with that at all. But it’s not me and by no means will I be morphing into the ‘super wife’ just because I’ve got a ring on my finger.

So, for those of you who are married, getting married, or just plain curious here is what being a ‘good wife’ means to me.

Respect.  Number ONE always respect your husband as he respects you. Appreciate him and love him just as much as you did when you were dating/first got engaged.

Romance. Keep it alive! Yes, it’s unrealistic to keep up hearts and flowers indefinitely but occasionally just doing something really nice for him will make a difference.

Love him to bits. I love my husband so much and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Love him to death because HELL you are so lucky you have married the love of your life.

Let it go. Husbands are not perfect just like you and everyone else on the planet. Don’t get annoyed about nothing. Let him make little mistakes and just breath it out and let go of it, it’s not the end of the world if he forgot to do something he promised or spilt coffee on the carpet (in our case this is more likely to be me..).

Back him up. There might be times when hubby really needs your support.  Be his rock when things are tough.

Enjoy your time together. Just because your not ‘dating’ anymore doesn’t mean you can’t still go on dates! Do fun stuff on your days off together, take each other out, surprise each other with day trips, try new things.

Look hot. This one may be a bit vain and trust me my husband sees me at my absolute WORST on a daily basis when I wake up in the morning but I always make an effort to look my best when we go out or are seeing friends or his family.

PAY FOR STUFF. Unless a wife is a stay at home mum or earns a hell of a lot less than their husband I really don’t see why he should pay for everything. We spilt virtually everything down the middle and I never expect to be paid for. I think that’s just common sense.

Do your bit. Around the house I’m talking. I’m certainly not an obedient wife who does all the housework but it’s only fair to do half.

No shouting. Again another personal one because I know some people love getting their frustrations out with a good old row but I hate it so I never, ever raise my voice. Paul’s never heard me shout and I want to keep it that way.

Say sorry. It’s not always his fault! Be fair and if it’s yours then just say sorry.

Teamwork. We are a TEAM. Like all solid couples Michelle and Barack, Posh and Becks, Brad and Ange we work together on everything and do everything together. Best mates and partners in life, his happiness means as much to me as mine, if not more.

Never go to sleep on a fight, be faithful and loyal (goes without saying), say ‘I love you’ every day and kiss him in public (although not with tongues, yuk PDA) and if he reeeeeally wants you to bake apple pie then buy it from M&S ask his mum for the recipe and make one. ONLY OCCASSIONALLY though you don’t want him to get too spoilt.

People may disagree on the ins and outs of what being a good wife entails, but these things are what I promised in my vows and I plan to hold up my end of the bargain.

What do you think it means to ‘be a good wife’??

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20 Comments

  1. Sophie October 10, 2016 / 4:17 pm

    Totally agree with all of this (although I’m not married myself!). I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly four years now though and so much of this is true, especially the paying thing, I really hate the expectation that men have to pay for so much when us ladies can work and pay just as much! <3

    Lovely post and great opinions 😉 opinionated posts are always the most interesting <3 xx

    sophieannetaylor.blogspot.co.uk

    • Jessica Emily October 10, 2016 / 4:20 pm

      Haha thanks! I’m not necessarily a ‘traditional’ wife but I feel like those traditional things are long gone now! Thanks for reading x

  2. Em October 10, 2016 / 4:17 pm

    Great post lovely! Being 18 I really have no insight on this but I can imagine how intricate being married is, and being a good wife! And you make some totally valid points for any relationship! xox

    • Jessica Emily October 10, 2016 / 4:21 pm

      Hehe yes I agree applicable to any relationship but I wanted to make the point that literally AS SOON as you get married some people expect you to morph into a pie making baby machine! When there is so much more to a person than just ‘wife’ . Thanks for reading! X

  3. kayleighzara October 10, 2016 / 4:22 pm

    This is such a cute post! I think respecting each other is such an important part of the relationship, also congrats on getting married x

    • Jessica Emily October 10, 2016 / 4:24 pm

      Ah thank you! And thanks for reading! Respect is so fundamental for everything x

  4. Nena October 10, 2016 / 5:04 pm

    Letting it go is a big one! It is easier said than done, but it is a must to keep the relationship strong!

    • Jessica Emily October 10, 2016 / 5:05 pm

      Yep probably something it took me a while to get the hang of! But I have to check myself sometimes ! Thanks for reading x

  5. chloejaerobinson October 10, 2016 / 7:15 pm

    I’m not married but I love this. I think me and my boyfriend are quite similar. X

    • Jessica Emily October 10, 2016 / 7:22 pm

      Yeah definitely doesn’t just apply to married couples either ! Thanks for reading Xx

  6. Jade Writes October 10, 2016 / 7:18 pm

    Congratulations!!! And great post. Really fun to read 😊😊

    Jade x

  7. lovejennyxo October 10, 2016 / 7:26 pm

    this post is too cute!!! everything you pointed out are genuine key notes that i think are important to a lasting and successful marriage.
    also, i always tell my boyfriend rule #1 never go to bed mad lol I love that you wrote something along those lines, i cant wait to show him that.

    xo, JJ

    • Jessica Emily October 10, 2016 / 7:29 pm

      Hehe yep it’s so important not to sleep on negativity right? Thank you for reading x

  8. Emsi Rose October 10, 2016 / 7:31 pm

    Although I’m not getting married any time soon this was such an interesting and fun post to read xo

    emsirose.blogspot.com

  9. 🍂 TaniAHHH! 🎃🍁 (@teabeeblog) October 10, 2016 / 9:38 pm

    I’m not married but I have always wondered why there is so much stigma around being married or a wife! You’re so right, if you love someone then it shouldn’t change with a title 🙂 I will definitely use these tips in my current relationship, it’s really refreshing to see some decent advice! 🙂 xxx

    Tania | teabee x

    • Jessica Emily October 11, 2016 / 6:14 am

      Thank you! I’m so glad you agree! Thanks for reading lovely x

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