Technically, I’ve been an adult since 2010.

It certainly didn’t feel like it then and sometimes it still doesn’t even feel like it now! I’m getting there. At the age of 25 I would say that I’m pretty much a functioning adult who can do most things I’m expected to without running to my Dad for help. I’ve negotiated two house moves, booked various holidays, put myself through university while supporting myself entirely and I’d say I’m pretty self sufficient.

But there are some things people just don’t prepare you for! Some which start when you are 18 for sure, but others which creep up on you at different points in your life that you just weren’t expecting and are really complicated and just… adulty. So I’m going to prepare you. Here are some things about being a ‘good grown up’ which I wish I was still blissfully unaware of.

⭐️ Council Tax. We all know that when you grow up and live alone we will have to pay bills. In fact, for most young people their first home outside of mum and dad’s is a uni house, and there is a certain amount of pride attached to seeing your name on a bill letter! You feel like you’re bossing it, adulting, paying your bills on time and then BAM you leave university and guess what?? That bill amount you’ve been paying for three years? Yeah that’s not real. In actual fact you have to pay at least £50 a month more for something we made up and called council tax for the pleasure of having a roof over your head. When it’s on top of rent, electricity, gas, water, Internet an everything else you actually use trust me it’s a massive shock.

⭐️ Sending your own birthday cards. This may not sound like a biggie but seriously. The minute you realise your mum isn’t tagging your name on the cards she sends and you have to remember to send, purchase, write and send them yourself it’s a total bummer.

⭐️ If you work 9-5 you can get nothing done. Ever. Got toothache and need to see a dentist? Nope, they close at 5. Phones broken and need to go to the shop? Forget it. I’ve had a cheque in my bag for months because I can never get to my bank before it closes to pay it in. Things you really need are not open on weekends. That’s a life lesson right there.

⭐️ Estate agents. I’m SORRY if you’re an estate agent I’m sure you are perfectly lovely and trustworthy but I have found ever single one to be an absolute nightmare. When you are a fully functioning (or partly functioning) adult the chances are you will need to move and probably use an agent at some point. They are just exhausting. You need a pair of wellies to wade through their bullshite to get to the facts you actually need to know.  And they charge huge admin fees for the pleasure of them doing their job.

⭐️ Getting a new passport. In a world where literally everything can be ordered, updated or renewed online it comes as a bit of a shock to find out that a new passport is not the same. Not only do you have to fill in an actual paper form with a pen and post it IN PERSON but you also have to follow a number of complex instructions regarding photographs, signatures and paperwork. And you get charged £80 for this joy. Anyone thinking about calling their mum yet??

⭐️ Finally, Tax Returns.  God forbid you are ever self employed and have to do your own tax return but I was for many years and couldn’t justify the money of hiring an accountant. In 2016 you would have thought they could come up with a less complicated system but instead it’s a maze of receipts, numbers, declarations and (horror) adding up. I stared at the screen for several days before running to my Dad for help.

This post is a bit grumpy I’ll admit! There are of course many joyous things about being an adult and being in control of your own destiny, but if someone could just sort out getting rid of these little annoyances for me that would be GREAT. I will happily rejoin the adult community.

Any fellow semi-adults out there who care to share what you hate about being a grown up??

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The post-bridal blues is real. Seriously. You have spent months (sometimes years) planning and agonizing over every last detail, primping and preparing, switching between feeling excitement butterflies and sickening nerves – for one day. On this day, you are the total and utter centre of attention, people are tripping over themselves to help you, telling you how beautiful and radiant and wonderful you are (vain, I know) and what an amazing couple you make. The camera is flashing, wine is flowing, you marry the love of your life. Honestly, it’s so amazing.

But then it ends. You go to sleep a bride and wake up a wife.

BUT not to worry because if you’re lucky you’ve got a blissful week or two in paradise to ease you into married life. You have the best holiday of your life, you are so incredibly happy and you can’t wait to start your married life with your shiny new hubby.

Before you know it, you’re home. Back to work, in the same job, in the same house and you are happy, of course you are.. but it’s like… What now?!

The wedding leaves a great gaping whole in your life. Not gunna lie.

Based on my own experience of post-bridal blues and because I want to help other newlyweds avoid sitting around in their PJ’s sulking like I did, here are some ideas to beat the after wedding black hole:

 Redesign your home. 

If you already lived together as a couple the likelihood is you are not moving into a brand spanking new marital home right now, just the same old one. Getting creative and buying a few new bits, decorating or even just moving things around can help things feel a bit fresher and a can recreate some of that ‘newlywed bliss’.

♥  Look through your wedding photos.

This really is something to look forward to after the wedding. Getting, looking through and selecting your professional photos for printing is so much fun and is a great way to relive your day. 

♥  Have a broke date night.

Chances are you won’t have much money for burning after the wedding, so challenge yourself to plan a date night that costs very little or nothing. Homemade picnics, walks, drives or museum visits are good ideas for a broke-ass couple. Plus, it’s always lovely to spend some time with your hubby.

♥  Do the visiting rounds.

You’re still hot property and everyone wants to see you. In the weekends following our wedding we went all over the country visiting parents, grandparents, in laws and cousins. You’re happy and people want to be happy with you. It’s a good excuse to show off the tan too!

♥  Plan something else!

If you enjoyed the planning process, then why stop there! Offer to help plan a friends wedding, throw yourself into organising a work event or even just plan a birthday party. I’ve been enjoying planning my birthday and graduation.

♥  Focus on the next chapter. 

Hate to say it, but the wedding is over (SOB). But being married is the next chapter in your life! Fix a new goal to work towards, there is much excitement to come! Whether it be career wise, travel, buying a house, starting a family or even just successfully keeping your herb garden alive, you are bound to have some plans to work towards. 

♥  Help others.

Planning a wedding is super daunting, so if you can help other bride-to-he’s by posting advice and inspiration in forums or on blogs, then do.  I found these kind of things really helpful when I was planning and it’s good to get some honest advice. Plus, you’ll still feel involved in the wedding world! 

♥  Pack it all away.

It may be heartbreaking, but you can carry on displaying your dead bouquet/bunting/wedding cards forever. Get a cute momento box and get it out together when you want to reminisce about the day. 

Remember you are lucky.

The few times when I felt totally consumed with sadness that our wedding was over I gave myself a slap on the wrist and reminded myself ‘HEY. You are so lucky. You had a beautiful wedding and you are now MARRIED to your Prince Charming!’ Being married is awesome so appreciate it for what it is. 

♥ And if all else fails.. Book another holiday!

Yes, we have booked a second honeymoon over Christmas! We are backpacking Thailand for three weeks, so now I have that to plan! Not so bad really 🙂

I hope any new brides like me will find this helpful. If you’ve just got married and your feeling a bit down in the dumps you are not alone! Focus on the positives and you’ll soon move onto the next thing!

How did you get over your post bridal blues?!

xox

As I am approaching my quarter century I find myself reflecting on my time in my ‘early 20’s’. Overall, it’s been a blast, but it’s also been confusing and devastating at times. I think it’s a puzzling life stage for most people, stuck in limbo between child and ‘proper’ adult, being independent but still not totally detached from our parents. It’s a time when your expected to know ‘where your life is going’ even though most have no idea.

So here is a handy list of things that I have learnt in my early 20’s, some through hilarious mishaps and some through genuine life experience. I still have a long way to go but I definitely feel like I’m in a good place at 25. If you’re in your early 20’s you may find these helpful, if you’re past them then maybe you can laugh about these revelations like I am now.

  1. 25 is not old. I’m gunna start with this one. It is, in fact, very very young. 25 year olds will not thank you for gasping at their oldness when they reveal their age no matter how far away it seems to you.
  2. Not everyone agrees with you. Adults have different views, some more opinionated than others, on politics, religion, life. You don’t have to agree to be friends.
  3. Don’t take your health for granted. You are not invincible. At the risk of sounding like your mum it’s really important to take care of yourself, eat a balanced diet and try not to binge drink excessively. We all do it in our 20’s but too much can lead to problems even at a young age.
  4. Travel, travel, travel. Honestly, as much as you can. It’s the best thing I ever did. it opens your mind, your heart, you make new friends and discover how brave you are.
  5. You don’t have to pick one job and stick to it…. I have had 13 jobs. I have many friends who have had more. Job hopping is part of finding your feet and it’s totally okay.
  6. …But if you do know what you want, go for it. Some people are just born with a focus. Good for you! Don’t be ashamed to chase your dream.
  7.  Family is so important. They are your rock and will love you no matter what. They deserve your time.
  8. You don’t need loads of friends. I could count my friends on my fingers. Many acquaintances, few friends is what happens in your twenties. People who really support you, invest time in you and look out for you are special and worth holding on to.
  9. and on the subject of friends…Friendship is a two way street. You will definitely come across some blood sucking friends in your twenties. Ones that suck all your energy, take take take but don’t give anything back from the friendship. It’s really okay to just let them go.
  10. Unhealthy relationships are not cool. In the late teens it seems to be the ‘thing’ to date people who don’t treat you well. You don’t need that. Cut it out.
  11. Behave yourself at work. No one likes a killjoy but people don’t tend to like the office bike either. Try and keep work and social life separate and if you meet someone at work (like I did!) keep it professional and don’t tell people straight away.
  12. When money is tight, shoes and bags are the first to go. I haven’t bought a new pair of shoes in over a year. Just a warning.
  13. You can say ‘NO’. When we are young we seem to want to please everyone, go to everything, accept every invitation. ‘I’m sorry I don’t want to go to that gig with you because I hate drum and bass raves,’ is an acceptable thing to say.
  14. It’s YOUR call. You are a fully fledged adult and what you do is up to you! Not your friends, boyfriend, parents – YOU.
  15. But don’t be afraid to ask for help. People that love you will still be there when you need them. There is nothing wrong with taking your mums very good advice.
  16. It’s okay to not be okay. Most 20-somethings will experience some period of felling low, depression or anxiety. It may be short lived or it may go on longer. It’s okay. You can’t be strong all the time. When things go wrong or your feeling down it’s important to recognise it and ask for help.
  17. Your plan? Yeah, that’s gunna change. Life plans very rarely work out exactly how you expect them too. That’s because life is so wonderfully unpredictable. It’s good to have goals, but to have set ‘by 25 I want to be married to a lawyer’ type plans may not pan out and might prevent you from taking other opportunities that come along! My life is very different from my ‘plan’, but it’s so much better!
  18. No one has everything sorted by 25. Literally NO ONE has everything ticked off the list; relationship, dream job, traveled the world, PHD, family, own a house, whatever else you think of as the ‘perfect’ 25 year old.
  19. But everyone has something sorted. Some of my friends are bossing their career, others have trotted the globe and seen the world, I’ve married the love of my life, all great achievements and you will have achieved something to be proud of by 25.
  20. There is no such thing as the perfect life. Despite what Instagram will try and tell you, no one is living the perfect existence. Everyone has their own problems and joys. It’s all part of the ride. Living a happy life is much more rewarding than striving for a perfect one.

Who knows, maybe this will all change by the time I’m 30! I am feeling happy about turning 25 and I think that comes from being happy in yourself, something which wasn’t always the case in my early 20’s. I’m sure many mid-20-somethings can relate to some of these! Getting older (but not always wiser) is inevitable so you might as well roll with it and learn from it. I can’t wait to see what the next 5 years bring!

xox